One of "those" days..

Yes, it is one of "those" days. Trust me, I hate saying that. But it's the truth. I had terrible dreams all night long. I was battling so many demonic forces. I was so angry at them that I was coming after them rather than the other way around. Truth be told, however, I was worn out at the end in the dream. I kept asking God, "Where are you, Lord? I need Your Power Father."

I hate dreams like those. It's not the warfare I am speaking about. It is the extreme fatigue that I feel while warring against whatever forces there are. I would like to say that I came out of the fight stronger than an ox, with a cape on and a big 'ole "S" branded on my chest for "Super-warrior." Quite the contrary, though. There is only one word to describe what I felt while at war: tired.

Do you ever get tired? I am sure you do. I don't have any "real" advice for us except to pray. And if prayer seems to tough, then just trust in faith that God would remain true to His Word that we are the "apple of His eye." Who can stand against our awesome Father? No one.

Can you believe that after all those hours of battling demons, I awoke refreshed and renewed in my physical man? Sure, my emotional man was tired and weary, BUT my physical man was strengthened and empowered for the day. I don't know why the Lord chooses to empower one area and not the other. But He is God and I don't question it, but I do "wonder" LOL.

Here is the funny part. I received a few text messages, as well as read a devotional on FB that really encouraged my spiritual man. Could it be possible that these are lessons to my heart--of humility--to remind me how much I need the Body of Christ? I am truly humbled, trust me, in my spirit by the steadfast love of the children of God.

In the recent tragedy of losing my mother-in-law--and yes, it was a tragedy--suicide leaves an empty space in the heart--but I have encountered DEEP steadfast love from my brothers and sisters in a way unimaginable. Seriously, it's either laughter or tears. Or both.

I think of my brother in Christ that posted a crazy video of me with an afro, fighting off bad guys, on my FB page--that video still keeps me laughing til today. He just wanted to lift my spirits, and he did. I have several other close friends that "keep watch" over me by sending me messages of love and encouragement. I am thankful for them. I also have my "silent" friends. I don't really ever hear from them, but I know they are there. I can't tell you how many of them showed up at the funeral...just to hug us and share our grief. I am forever grateful.

I guess I will end this little note with a scripture: "For he has not ignored the suffering of the needy. He has not turned and walked away. He has listened to their cries for help." Psalm 22 vs 24.

To all of you that the Lord has used to touch our lives, we say thank you , and we love you.

Sis Anna

I need you now

"Out of the depths I cry to you, Oh Lord." Psalm 130:1

I love King David and how he wrote. He was a man after God's own heart (Acts 13:22). That word "depths" is a verb in its original use. It means to "be deep" and is compared to that of an ocean, a valley, or yes, even a pit. Because it is a verb, it is specifying behavior here and not a location. In other words, David was "being a valley" in God's presence. He didn't just go there....oh no...HE BECAME THAT DEEP, DARK, DREADFUL PLACE.

Ahhh the pit. Ever been there? I believe some of us may have our own personal room there, like a hotel..."Hotel Pit." Not to boast, trust me, but I have been to this place so many times that I have a king-sized bed with a nightstand and my Bible there. This pit is only known by few who dare to allow themselves to "be deep" in God's presence. It is by far--a. very. low. place. (emphasis applied here). This is why I say no boasting can parade here. Who wants to be in this place? I sure don't!!! But I understand now that it is a part of this walk with the Lord, for whom He uses, He also abases. (1 Corinthians 1:29-31) If I want His DEEP, I must decrease, and He must increase (John 3:30). The pit is part of that process.

The pit can sneak up at any given time on any given day. It could be the bills, the kids, the job, the husband. Or it could be the vicissitudes of life. Sometimes I just don't know what it is..but my tears are falling so fast that I have to hide my pain lest I wake anyone up. So I muffle my cries in my pillow...so no one can hear me. But God hears me. He knows. He is there.

"Where can I run from your presence? Where can I flee from your spirit? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."

Do these moments of despair make me a weak-willed Christian? If it does, it is quite alright with me. For each time I have made a personal visit to this depth, the Lord has always been right there with me. Is there something that has you in a dark, empty place? I understand. And all I can say is rather than feel like you are being punished, take this journey as a part of life that we are privileged to have. The Lord will hold us up when we give him our burdens in that place. (Psalm 22 speaks of this)

I dont want to tell you to enjoy this place--of course not--I speak to those that understand that the "hole in the heart" feeling is not enjoyable! But the one that HOLDS our heart is right there. Call His Name. No darkness is dark to Him---He is there to lead us to His marvelous light. He blows Motel 8 out of the water--because He doesn't just "leave a light on for us." He IS THE LIGHT for us. God bless you and be encouraged.

"...even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you." Psalm 139:12